我不知道，迷迷糊糊马马虎虎地就这样，迎来2013年最后一天。
一切似乎很突然。
然后突然想起2012年写下的2013年心愿和目标。
问自己有没有达成那些目标？
嗯啊。都完成了。
只不过，没想象中的那种快乐。不是说得到了就不懂得珍惜。不是这样的...而是，我没有想到会以这样的情况来获得我一直梦寐以求的东西。
我以为，目标达成是一件很美好的事情。
可是却忘了现实一向都很骨感。16岁的我没资格谈人生，但对我而言，我的人生就像存在于一个异空间；以比较明确的方式表达的话，应该可以解读为：我的人生常常在理想和现实中徘徊。
2013年，我努力让自己变得更优秀，我以为那是爱自己的表现。
但我发现时间久了，‘变优秀’似乎已经不是我一个人的事了。我所立下的这个目标，开始涉及其他人。我变得贪得无厌。我渴望在做好一件事后获得大家的赞同、肯定，甚至，羡慕。
无形中我不再为了 自己而活，我不在没有观众的舞台上表演。
我变得现实。虚伪。恍惚。
我讨厌这样的自己。所以我想改变。够了。不想再折磨自己下去。
所以我想告诉所有读这篇文章的人：无需羡慕他人，你有自己的精彩。永远不要 输掉自己。
2014年。我不想想太多。
因为‘拥有’是一种烦恼。2012年或许我什么都没有，但我活得挺轻松啊。
今年得到的很多，但挺折腾的。
所以我只有一个目标，很矛盾，很抽象。
与自己心平气和地相处。
完了。
希望2014年我写这种文章时，我能做到。
其他的，顺其自然。
新年快乐。
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
可恶的人生
一辈子活下来，常常是，在最有意思的时候，没有有意思地过，在最没意思的时候，想要有意思地过结果却再也过不出意思。
或者，换一种表述就是，在看不透的时候，好看的人生过得不好看；看透了，想过得好看，可是人生已经没法看了。
这句话说得并不绕。其实，人生比这个绕多了。
人生就是这样的一场游戏：在欲望浮沉中，把生命扔到很远很远，最后，只为了找到很近很近的那个简单的自己。
或者，换一种表述就是，在看不透的时候，好看的人生过得不好看；看透了，想过得好看，可是人生已经没法看了。
这句话说得并不绕。其实，人生比这个绕多了。
人生就是这样的一场游戏：在欲望浮沉中，把生命扔到很远很远，最后，只为了找到很近很近的那个简单的自己。
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
一针见血
i do not own this article.
Original post : http://www.douban.com/note/229842721/
如果与赢无关，那么胜利时候，那么多人喝彩，失败时候，那么默默无闻走开是喂神马？
有多少人真的承认自己是不在乎结果的，请举手，对，不要羞涩，大胆的举起手来。
很多个故事，说一个怎样平凡的人，历经多少失败，但是因为自己的执着与坚持，最后成功了。实际上大家被忽悠了。这个故事的重点不是执着与坚持，而是最后成功了。如果最后没有成功，那么没人会写这个故事。只是邻居路过的时候转头跟孩子说，别理这个怪叔叔，他妄想症从小时候就得了，一直没好，你不好好学习，长大也会这样。
刘翔摔了，有同情的，有讽刺的，有安慰的，有责怪的。很多人说刘翔贵在坚持，又有很多人拿出广告单，力图塑造一个体坛唐明皇形象：一开始时候还知道励精图治，小有成绩美人（？）在怀时候便失去了建功立业的魄力。实际上，po广告图片的和当年疯狂追捧刘翔的都是一批人。这批人，卑鄙的让人不知道说什么好。但是，话说回来，这就是人，只关注强者，只关注成功，其他的都是浮云。就算再装出一副“银牌也ok，或者参与者最光荣”的虚伪嘴脸，也掩饰不了骨子里最原始的关于胜利的憧憬。喜欢看竞技比赛，并不是真的热爱一项运动或者在享受运动的过程，看竞技比赛，只是为了赢的那一刹那，肾上腺素一瞬间的飙升。这就跟古罗马竞技场把战俘扔进狮子坑之中，看着狮子把活人生生撕成碎片一样。这是人类所喜欢的最原始的强大的感觉，压倒性的胜利所带来的无与伦比的美丽。
坚持或者执着，为的是啥？是享受坚持的过程嘛？十月怀胎，从窈窕淑女变身超级肥婆是为了享受孕育的喜悦嘛？一个人忍受寂寞，在实验室里，在办公室里，在会议室里，离开爱人的陪伴，离开亲人的照顾，只是为了享受自己一个人看文件、回邮件、研究报表、分析数据的过程嘛？开什么玩笑，我们又不是有病。
各种悲伤寂寞冷，只是为了有那么一刹那，我们能够享受胜利的喜悦。我们能够获有个健康的宝宝，获得诺贝尔，升职加薪，事业有成。对的，别给自己的坚持找一个伟大的理由，你我心知肚明，各种悲催是为了得志的欢喜。就算悲催了十年，而只有分分钟的快乐。
这个题目起得真的蛋疼，我好像要说一个励志的题目，结果却颠倒黑白。其实我说的一直是一个事情。不过更直接。人不能虚伪，不能一边崇拜强者，鼓吹胜利，一边还要安慰弱者，摆着姿态。太假太做作。崇拜强者本来就是天经地义的事情，没有人为了平庸而活着。那么就亮出自己卑鄙的本质，当别人问你你是不是喜欢胜利的时候，坚定地举手。虽然很卑鄙，也好过很伪善。
Original post : http://www.douban.com/note/229842721/
如果与赢无关，那么胜利时候，那么多人喝彩，失败时候，那么默默无闻走开是喂神马？
有多少人真的承认自己是不在乎结果的，请举手，对，不要羞涩，大胆的举起手来。
很多个故事，说一个怎样平凡的人，历经多少失败，但是因为自己的执着与坚持，最后成功了。实际上大家被忽悠了。这个故事的重点不是执着与坚持，而是最后成功了。如果最后没有成功，那么没人会写这个故事。只是邻居路过的时候转头跟孩子说，别理这个怪叔叔，他妄想症从小时候就得了，一直没好，你不好好学习，长大也会这样。
刘翔摔了，有同情的，有讽刺的，有安慰的，有责怪的。很多人说刘翔贵在坚持，又有很多人拿出广告单，力图塑造一个体坛唐明皇形象：一开始时候还知道励精图治，小有成绩美人（？）在怀时候便失去了建功立业的魄力。实际上，po广告图片的和当年疯狂追捧刘翔的都是一批人。这批人，卑鄙的让人不知道说什么好。但是，话说回来，这就是人，只关注强者，只关注成功，其他的都是浮云。就算再装出一副“银牌也ok，或者参与者最光荣”的虚伪嘴脸，也掩饰不了骨子里最原始的关于胜利的憧憬。喜欢看竞技比赛，并不是真的热爱一项运动或者在享受运动的过程，看竞技比赛，只是为了赢的那一刹那，肾上腺素一瞬间的飙升。这就跟古罗马竞技场把战俘扔进狮子坑之中，看着狮子把活人生生撕成碎片一样。这是人类所喜欢的最原始的强大的感觉，压倒性的胜利所带来的无与伦比的美丽。
坚持或者执着，为的是啥？是享受坚持的过程嘛？十月怀胎，从窈窕淑女变身超级肥婆是为了享受孕育的喜悦嘛？一个人忍受寂寞，在实验室里，在办公室里，在会议室里，离开爱人的陪伴，离开亲人的照顾，只是为了享受自己一个人看文件、回邮件、研究报表、分析数据的过程嘛？开什么玩笑，我们又不是有病。
各种悲伤寂寞冷，只是为了有那么一刹那，我们能够享受胜利的喜悦。我们能够获有个健康的宝宝，获得诺贝尔，升职加薪，事业有成。对的，别给自己的坚持找一个伟大的理由，你我心知肚明，各种悲催是为了得志的欢喜。就算悲催了十年，而只有分分钟的快乐。
这个题目起得真的蛋疼，我好像要说一个励志的题目，结果却颠倒黑白。其实我说的一直是一个事情。不过更直接。人不能虚伪，不能一边崇拜强者，鼓吹胜利，一边还要安慰弱者，摆着姿态。太假太做作。崇拜强者本来就是天经地义的事情，没有人为了平庸而活着。那么就亮出自己卑鄙的本质，当别人问你你是不是喜欢胜利的时候，坚定地举手。虽然很卑鄙，也好过很伪善。
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
weird me.
like suddenly i realised that we can never ever depend on others for our own happiness.
but it's too late.
*
so.... Hari Raya holiday ends.
idk what feelings should I have right now. okay to be honest. i don't actually feel blue for the reopening of school. i remembered last year i was so down when it came to schooling days. well most probably is because of pmr and those trials that made me exhaust . this year form 4. okay everything becomes tougher but we don't have to sit for any important government test. so except some small tests, coming to school is just like a piece of cake. without stress and i'm enjoying. homework? yah our teachers don't actually give us loads of homework, and if yes, i always do it last minute /./
*
mummy says i have to stop to be a perfectionist. nobody is perfect.
but seriously....am not interest for 'perfection'.
i am just... dream big. for you only lived once.
like, if you have a dream. then why not dream for the biggest and furthest?
but it's too late.
*
so.... Hari Raya holiday ends.
idk what feelings should I have right now. okay to be honest. i don't actually feel blue for the reopening of school. i remembered last year i was so down when it came to schooling days. well most probably is because of pmr and those trials that made me exhaust . this year form 4. okay everything becomes tougher but we don't have to sit for any important government test. so except some small tests, coming to school is just like a piece of cake. without stress and i'm enjoying. homework? yah our teachers don't actually give us loads of homework, and if yes, i always do it last minute /./
*
mummy says i have to stop to be a perfectionist. nobody is perfect.
but seriously....am not interest for 'perfection'.
i am just... dream big. for you only lived once.
like, if you have a dream. then why not dream for the biggest and furthest?
Saturday, August 10, 2013
If.
。
if one day my dreams come true.
i wish i would never forget who is there be with me even in the darkest days of my life.
i wish i would never forget people who help me and motivate me along the way of pursuing my dreams.
i wish i would never forget to thanks and praise the Lord, for everything i have is given by Him.
总不能 流血就喊痛 怕黑就开灯 想念就联系 疲惫就放空 被孤立就讨好 脆弱就想家 不要被现在而蒙蔽双眼 终究是要长大 最漆黑的那段路终要自己走完 现在的这些那些也将会被时间抛在脑后 所以 不要害怕。@weibo
if one day my dreams come true.
i wish i would never forget who is there be with me even in the darkest days of my life.
i wish i would never forget people who help me and motivate me along the way of pursuing my dreams.
i wish i would never forget to thanks and praise the Lord, for everything i have is given by Him.
总不能 流血就喊痛 怕黑就开灯 想念就联系 疲惫就放空 被孤立就讨好 脆弱就想家 不要被现在而蒙蔽双眼 终究是要长大 最漆黑的那段路终要自己走完 现在的这些那些也将会被时间抛在脑后 所以 不要害怕。@weibo
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
一不做二不休
came across this saying :
I'd rather have a life of 'OH WELLS' than a life of 'WHAT IFS.'
and it is pretty true. for me. i realised that i am that kind of person that if i decided to do something, then i will strain every nerve to perform best and if i don't want to do something, i won't get start. not even a little try. my mum said, i am so 'legalistic' (and this is definitely not a compliment) . but. but something stubborn in me wouldn't let me change. because.... we only live once. i just don't want to make myself feeling guilty. okay so a little sharing anyway, and happy hari raya aidilfitri to everyone! :)
I'd rather have a life of 'OH WELLS' than a life of 'WHAT IFS.'
and it is pretty true. for me. i realised that i am that kind of person that if i decided to do something, then i will strain every nerve to perform best and if i don't want to do something, i won't get start. not even a little try. my mum said, i am so 'legalistic' (and this is definitely not a compliment) . but. but something stubborn in me wouldn't let me change. because.... we only live once. i just don't want to make myself feeling guilty. okay so a little sharing anyway, and happy hari raya aidilfitri to everyone! :)
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
realisation
原来一个人忙起来，真的可以让自己忘记很多事。
突然发现以前在乎的那些事情，现在都不算什么了。
曾经很傻地努力改变自己去迎合别人，后来发现自己是如此卑微，但是别人呢？不当自己一回事。可有可无。顿时觉得自己很可笑。
现在。已经不会刻意去接受一些自己无法接受的价值观。
没办法欺骗自己。所以我选择对自己坦诚。
但是对自己诚实的代价，就是会得到别人的不认同，不理解，还有，闲言闲语。
既然不管做什么事都会被批判，那么我选择做自己最想做的事。这样，至少被批评论断的时候，我也心甘情愿/
突然发现以前在乎的那些事情，现在都不算什么了。
曾经很傻地努力改变自己去迎合别人，后来发现自己是如此卑微，但是别人呢？不当自己一回事。可有可无。顿时觉得自己很可笑。
现在。已经不会刻意去接受一些自己无法接受的价值观。
没办法欺骗自己。所以我选择对自己坦诚。
但是对自己诚实的代价，就是会得到别人的不认同，不理解，还有，闲言闲语。
既然不管做什么事都会被批判，那么我选择做自己最想做的事。这样，至少被批评论断的时候，我也心甘情愿/
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Sunday, June 30, 2013
last day of June.
everything passes so rapidly. like everything.
and unbelievably i had gone through half of my form 4 life.
form 4 subjects stink, and stressful. but with God i managed to walk through... God's power is just wonderful.
i tell myself, i want to pray more from now on. make sure everyday read the bible also.
so looking through this half of the year, there were, indeed lots of tough situations i had been. but now when looking back, those times aren't that bad. i mean, so that i always remember not to rely on myself, but give all the worries to Him and let Him lead my way.
sometimes i feel God is not with me, but that is not the truth. this is only my feeling. the truth is that, He is with me. without God, without me...
everything passes so rapidly. like everything.
and unbelievably i had gone through half of my form 4 life.
form 4 subjects stink, and stressful. but with God i managed to walk through... God's power is just wonderful.
i tell myself, i want to pray more from now on. make sure everyday read the bible also.
so looking through this half of the year, there were, indeed lots of tough situations i had been. but now when looking back, those times aren't that bad. i mean, so that i always remember not to rely on myself, but give all the worries to Him and let Him lead my way.
sometimes i feel God is not with me, but that is not the truth. this is only my feeling. the truth is that, He is with me. without God, without me...
Friday, June 28, 2013
【進撃の巨人OP】「紅蓮の弓矢」を弾いてみた【ピアノ】
best piano version of the opening of shingeki no kyojin so far in youtube.
She is my idolww
Thursday, June 27, 2013
hi.
so.. time flies.
few days more, July! 1st of July is my dearest granpa's 80th birthday, and 13rd of July is my dad's birthday.
and 7th of July my sister brother coming back. Seriously... i am exciting :)
this month goes pretty fast. holidays, exams...
about my piano exam. overall was okay, i supposed, but i still think that i had done better when i practised at home. but it is okay, since i had try my best :)
and i just realise how much i love the piano. the music. and the gentle sounds of piano keys! it is amazing.
thanks God that although life may have ups and downs, He leads me all the way so that when i fall, i can stand up again.
bye now.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
And make it okay
我的金鱼不会飞
也没想过要减肥
它跟我说
小小的世界里
一样有小小的幸福
你又何必羡慕
那遥不可及的大海
- 文@ 恩佐
你应该很清楚。
不属于自己的地方。
人总要学习抽身而退。
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Piano
I... love piano.
I enjoy playing the piano, but I hate piano exam. When something is related with "scores " "marks "."accomplishment " then I basically hate that thing.
But if don't have exam, we would never know where we stand... perhaps? But for what I know, there is always things that exam can't prove.
Btw, in the middle of practicing piano. Bye now!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Christianity
attended the 3 days 2 nights camp.
meet many new friends there. also, learn more about being a daughter of God. :3
and we had a something like quiz to know more about our identities.
and the result shows out that i am a truly perfectionist. e.e
i hate my this identity, which ruins my mood when i can't achieve my goals in doing things. sigh...
it is normal for we human beings to be imperfect, and it is horribly impossible to be perfect in everything.
one thing i realised about myself is that, i am really BADDDDD in communicating with people.
like, i had a hard time trying to be natural and smile because was too nervous when facing people that i barely know .___.
i'd always wish that i could communicate with people naturally but... i just don't know what to say when facing people i don't know. ;_; and this caused me a lot of problems since i was small because, people would think that i am a proud, ego and cold-blooded person. how people thinking of me, i can't actually help much but. it is really important to learn to communicate and get along with people.
in the camp also we had discussed about life and some topics like future and death. i mean i am really afraid of death sometimes, not myself but when this happens in my family, relatives. and about future, in fact i had a blueprint for my future just that i ain't sure if those dreams can come true.
till then, i am still trying and struggling to make my life better, so that everything i do can glorify His name.
thank you, God.
Amen.
meet many new friends there. also, learn more about being a daughter of God. :3
and we had a something like quiz to know more about our identities.
and the result shows out that i am a truly perfectionist. e.e
i hate my this identity, which ruins my mood when i can't achieve my goals in doing things. sigh...
it is normal for we human beings to be imperfect, and it is horribly impossible to be perfect in everything.
one thing i realised about myself is that, i am really BADDDDD in communicating with people.
like, i had a hard time trying to be natural and smile because was too nervous when facing people that i barely know .___.
i'd always wish that i could communicate with people naturally but... i just don't know what to say when facing people i don't know. ;_; and this caused me a lot of problems since i was small because, people would think that i am a proud, ego and cold-blooded person. how people thinking of me, i can't actually help much but. it is really important to learn to communicate and get along with people.
in the camp also we had discussed about life and some topics like future and death. i mean i am really afraid of death sometimes, not myself but when this happens in my family, relatives. and about future, in fact i had a blueprint for my future just that i ain't sure if those dreams can come true.
till then, i am still trying and struggling to make my life better, so that everything i do can glorify His name.
thank you, God.
Amen.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
進撃の巨人
one of the best adventure anime ever produced within this few months.
Shingeki no kyojin (Attack on Titans) or 进击的巨人 in chinese.
err the story plot.
it is about a place where there are giants who eat human beings.
so to prevent human from eating from those giants, over hundred years they had built high, hard and concrete walls to prevent the giants to attack them.
so years by years, human beings live in peacefulness, but however the day comes. the day where giants destroy the wall and invade human beings. . .
the anime is pretty exciting and awesome and cool! love it very much.
and there are also a lot of sad scenes in this anime, especially when Eren (main character)'s mother been swallowing by one of the nasty giants. ;_;
some anime scenes here :
when the giants about to eat human beings. (( see they are TALLER than normal houses and buildings goshhh)
ok honesty this giant freaks me out -.= he(i supposed?) is even BIGGER than those normal giants... asdfghj can't imagine lollol.
MIKASA :3 i love the way she tries to protect Eren.
although Eren have a life in the concrete walls, he never stop dreaming. he just want to discover the world that outside the walls. this make me have a feeling like, even though some of us might get stuck in some states that make us unable to do things that we want, things that we like, however, never stop dreaming and trying. don't get stuck in your own concrete walls.
k bye!
err the story plot.
it is about a place where there are giants who eat human beings.
so to prevent human from eating from those giants, over hundred years they had built high, hard and concrete walls to prevent the giants to attack them.
so years by years, human beings live in peacefulness, but however the day comes. the day where giants destroy the wall and invade human beings. . .
the anime is pretty exciting and awesome and cool! love it very much.
and there are also a lot of sad scenes in this anime, especially when Eren (main character)'s mother been swallowing by one of the nasty giants. ;_;
some anime scenes here :
although Eren have a life in the concrete walls, he never stop dreaming. he just want to discover the world that outside the walls. this make me have a feeling like, even though some of us might get stuck in some states that make us unable to do things that we want, things that we like, however, never stop dreaming and trying. don't get stuck in your own concrete walls.
k bye!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
update 2
.
1. you please stop taking everything as granted okay?!
2. don't expect me to be something, or somebody.
.
Happy holiday!
1. you please stop taking everything as granted okay?!
2. don't expect me to be something, or somebody.
.
Happy holiday!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
update
just an update of daily life after the exam.
finally, exam over. i can't actually follow back my daily routine after the exam e.e
idk. but the exam made me feels like i had been suffering in something for a long long period of time. it made me feel so exhausted and energy-consuming. i mean, it is like. no matter how much you read, but when you are in the exam hall, for a moment you felt your brain went blank. that frustrations. i know right. e.e
holiday is coming soon. still not having even a plan for my holiday. piano exam is around the corner, and am really concern about this exam. hopefully in this two-weeks-holiday i could do something, to improve and to wisely use my time.
that's all.
finally, exam over. i can't actually follow back my daily routine after the exam e.e
idk. but the exam made me feels like i had been suffering in something for a long long period of time. it made me feel so exhausted and energy-consuming. i mean, it is like. no matter how much you read, but when you are in the exam hall, for a moment you felt your brain went blank. that frustrations. i know right. e.e
holiday is coming soon. still not having even a plan for my holiday. piano exam is around the corner, and am really concern about this exam. hopefully in this two-weeks-holiday i could do something, to improve and to wisely use my time.
that's all.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
不计划太多反而能勇敢冒险
that worst feeling. when you expect things that will never ever happen. sigh e.e
exam is coming. and...it is such a big gap between form 3 and form 4. i know right e.e has been studying for some while, but really can't understand and concentrate don't know why.
physics is still killing me as usual, and i am somehow giving up this stupid subject. ;_;
add maths... yes no maybe. history... whatever haha =.=
tomorrow is the country election .
hope our country get a good leader.. and.
please give us one more holiday on Monday please T.T
exam is coming. and...it is such a big gap between form 3 and form 4. i know right e.e has been studying for some while, but really can't understand and concentrate don't know why.
physics is still killing me as usual, and i am somehow giving up this stupid subject. ;_;
add maths... yes no maybe. history... whatever haha =.=
tomorrow is the country election .
hope our country get a good leader.. and.
please give us one more holiday on Monday please T.T
Thursday, April 18, 2013
discouraged.
be cautious when you are talking.
because people may get hurt by what you think is okay to say - you never know.
because people may get hurt by what you think is okay to say - you never know.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
sigh.
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. - avril lavigne @ anything but ordinary
i made a big mistake. i'm dead this time. i don't know how serious is the problem, until i found out myself....
and i had not even a single excuse to escape. if given me a chance, then i will... opps no. this is reality. thats no such thing called reverse. wake up. so what can i do now ?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. - avril lavigne @ anything but ordinary
i made a big mistake. i'm dead this time. i don't know how serious is the problem, until i found out myself....
and i had not even a single excuse to escape. if given me a chance, then i will... opps no. this is reality. thats no such thing called reverse. wake up. so what can i do now ?
Friday, April 5, 2013
happy birthday to my dearest brother::
today is my brother's birthday.
he's turning 20 today.
i still rmb that when both of us are still kids, we quarrel often. and i always pull his hair and he pulled back mine rofll. but time flies, now he is already study in college and has his own life in kl. and i was like ;_;
he and my sister only come back like 2 times in a year. when he comes back, we always have a lot to talk (mostly nonsenses actually) and we play the piano together.
anyway... hope he enjoys his 20th birthday and God bless him :3
p.s hope he finds his true love one day soon xD
happy birthday, brother! =)
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
it is tuesday already. << my favourite day!
because we have less subjects to study in class today (like, one subject double periods)
and i don't have even a single tuition today! i really hate going to tuition because a lot of time wasted in transportation (since my house is quite far away)
yesterday was april fool day. surely, i got fooled. ._.
and i was totally clueless about that (ignorant??)
so... i guess this will be a short post of things happened in these few days.
bye now!:)
lastly, a picture which is obviously unrelated with the post :
the wondrous(?) cupcakes.
because we have less subjects to study in class today (like, one subject double periods)
and i don't have even a single tuition today! i really hate going to tuition because a lot of time wasted in transportation (since my house is quite far away)
yesterday was april fool day. surely, i got fooled. ._.
and i was totally clueless about that (ignorant??)
so... i guess this will be a short post of things happened in these few days.
bye now!:)
lastly, a picture which is obviously unrelated with the post :
the wondrous(?) cupcakes.
 |
| from weibo.com |
Sunday, March 31, 2013
a random post
１．２．３．．．
ok i knew it. am still trying to fix the missing pieces of those days.
things become worse. i can't stand still in the same place.
我要变得，更坚强。
Friday, March 29, 2013
Good Friday
"But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5
Monday, March 25, 2013
pleaseeee
am a totally perfectionist, i mean seriously.
and this cause me a lot of problems... and sometimes make things worse.
i hate myself being like that. oh come on. stop it please.
and this cause me a lot of problems... and sometimes make things worse.
i hate myself being like that. oh come on. stop it please.
废人生活
monday.
holiday.
from this morning till now, i doing nothing. well at least nothing good for me. eat sleep and daydream. -_- sigh... so this is all i wanted for my holiday? exactly no. just that i am lazy to do everything except doing nothing (epic?lol)
i feel the insanity in me. due to over-boring o.O
holiday.
from this morning till now, i doing nothing. well at least nothing good for me. eat sleep and daydream. -_- sigh... so this is all i wanted for my holiday? exactly no. just that i am lazy to do everything except doing nothing (epic?lol)
i feel the insanity in me. due to over-boring o.O
e.e
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
spirited away
 |
| i do not own this photo. this is not the original picture of the movie. |
千と千尋の神隠し
finally find a time to re-watch this movie today :D
this is indeed a nice and touching movie. T.T
and the music in it is soothing and awesome. although this is not a new movie (in fact, it released for years ago), no matter i watch how many times i still love it::
the story is about a girl, Chihiro and her parents who were going to move to a new city but ended up in a place (?) which fulled with monsters and spirits. Chihiro's parents turned into PIGS because they accidentally ate the foods prepared for those monsters. so she wanted to save her parents out. but in the meantime she couldn't do that because those monsters and spirits hate human beings. and she met a guy named Haku and bla bla blah... and eventually Chihiro successfully saved her parents and they backed to the reality again. but Haku and Chihiro could no longer meet each others again T.T
lol and, i know this story sounds boring after reading my summary above. well i can't quite express the story, but the story is fulled with mysteries, touched-moments and tearing parts (you'll know it if you watch) and it is the most successful film in japan - it is the highest-grossing film with approximately $300 million worldwide.
i just love this film so much. one of the best film i've watched so far. ::
Thursday, March 21, 2013
happy holiday! ;)
如今所拥有的和失去的，都是曾经自己的选择//
闭上眼看 / 最后那颗夕阳 / 美得像一个遗憾 / 挥霍哀伤 / 青春兵荒马乱 / 我们潦草地离散 ♪ - 《心酸》
holiday plan :
animeanimeanimeanime.
sleepsleepsleepsleep.
eateateateat.
闭上眼看 / 最后那颗夕阳 / 美得像一个遗憾 / 挥霍哀伤 / 青春兵荒马乱 / 我们潦草地离散 ♪ - 《心酸》
 |
| i do not own this picture. source : Gintama |
animeanimeanimeanime.
sleepsleepsleepsleep.
eateateateat.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
♪
Officially in holiday mood now::
Have nothing much to write, as the days go peacefully. Tomorrow will the spm results will be announced. God bless to those who study hard.
Bye
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Nostalgia
So I said I hate growing up. You see the real colour of this world, and ... it does not as colourful as what you've imagined. That was preposterous that I was once thinking to grow up faster. (...) How I miss those old days when we know nothing about future.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
tell the world
如果不去遍历世界，我们就不知道什么是我们精神和情感的寄托，但我们一旦遍历了世界，却发现我们再也无法回到那美好的地方去了。当我们开始寻求，我们就已经失去，而我们不开始寻求，我们根本无法知道自己身边的一切是如此可贵。 —— 《小王子》
bible verse. i do not own this photo.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Stubborn
As I always know things change from time to time. But when it comes to myself, I found that I can't quite accept the truth. I know people changed and we will never get those memories back. But still....
Friday, March 1, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
exam.
gosh. now i know how much i hate test.
yep this is a monthly test. in fact i told myself just try my best. but this few days i feel a spasm of fear, which is indescribable. this is because i really hate the feeling of dont-know-how-to-do during a test.
we have physics and english test tmr. i hate physics.
and i know i will be really tired tmr. because afternoon we have co-curriculum activity, which is really useless and boring and annoying and time wasting. and then night continue add maths ttn that i need to put my 101% to concentrate and learn. ._. and back home still have to revise chemistry. then tuesday we have sejarah and bc paper.
i hate busy life. :\\\ little did i know that f4 life can be such exhausting.
but so what. no choice. move on.
yep this is a monthly test. in fact i told myself just try my best. but this few days i feel a spasm of fear, which is indescribable. this is because i really hate the feeling of dont-know-how-to-do during a test.
we have physics and english test tmr. i hate physics.
and i know i will be really tired tmr. because afternoon we have co-curriculum activity, which is really useless and boring and annoying and time wasting. and then night continue add maths ttn that i need to put my 101% to concentrate and learn. ._. and back home still have to revise chemistry. then tuesday we have sejarah and bc paper.
i hate busy life. :\\\ little did i know that f4 life can be such exhausting.
but so what. no choice. move on.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
.
到最后，你发现说真话容易犯错，便不再说话；你发现愤怒、轻视与得意时都会影响人际关系，便省略表情；你发现手舞足蹈会影响形象，便不再做任何夸张动作---你终于活得如同一部人类学行为规范，去掉了表情，隐藏了情绪，不带一丝人气，成了橡皮人。 - copied from weibo. Com
Saturday, February 16, 2013
and i was like
tmr school reopens.
everything starts again : clubs, ttn, homeworks, test. (...)
worst thing is i have bio test on monday. and haven't finish studying x.x
the whole chinese new year is, umm fine. but i realised that what i love about cny is the day BEFORE cny. the feeling of excite and elate. but when it comes to the first day of cny, tired. my house usually open house on the first day. it is fun to have your friends and relatives with you, eating talking and all that. but after that, the cleaning up process can be pretty exhausting. usually my work is wiping windows and doors that have finger marks and food on them, and mopping the floor. my parents, they are extremely tiring after serving so many guests, so they usually don't help out for the clean up thingy.
however, cny is officially ended for us students. but cny mood can never goes... sigh -_-'''
bye now.
everything starts again : clubs, ttn, homeworks, test. (...)
worst thing is i have bio test on monday. and haven't finish studying x.x
the whole chinese new year is, umm fine. but i realised that what i love about cny is the day BEFORE cny. the feeling of excite and elate. but when it comes to the first day of cny, tired. my house usually open house on the first day. it is fun to have your friends and relatives with you, eating talking and all that. but after that, the cleaning up process can be pretty exhausting. usually my work is wiping windows and doors that have finger marks and food on them, and mopping the floor. my parents, they are extremely tiring after serving so many guests, so they usually don't help out for the clean up thingy.
however, cny is officially ended for us students. but cny mood can never goes... sigh -_-'''
bye now.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
you got me wrong.
... i make myself clear. you don't understand, then ok. nothing more i could say.
just that : i do my part as a daughter. but why can't you try to accept my opinions ?
just that : i do my part as a daughter. but why can't you try to accept my opinions ?
Monday, February 11, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
♣♣除夕夜
2013::
Spent more time on God.
Be myself.
Family healthy.
Everyone's happy.
Be a better person.
Ilovemyfamily♣... forever and always.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
festive mood orz
finally. 1 week more to go.
and then new year!
i love the way our family can reunion together, talking with each others, and enjoy the moments.
and... i hope all my family members: daddy mummy bro sistas grandpa can live healthily and happily throughout this year. and we can carry on no matter how life brings us down. and i wish i can spend more time listen to God's words and pray to Him.
still. 1 week to go. 1 week study kuat kuat then holiday! x.x
don't compromise .
and then new year!
i love the way our family can reunion together, talking with each others, and enjoy the moments.
and... i hope all my family members: daddy mummy bro sistas grandpa can live healthily and happily throughout this year. and we can carry on no matter how life brings us down. and i wish i can spend more time listen to God's words and pray to Him.
still. 1 week to go. 1 week study kuat kuat then holiday! x.x
don't compromise .
Sunday, January 27, 2013
;_; ;_;
so the school has started like about 1 month, and i am still unable to follow what teachers teach.
it looks like i am the only one who is still blur blur in my class.
add maths is driving me crazy, starting from the stupid composite functions and blah blah blah...
maths... my maths is always slow.
bm... never listen in class.
bc and bi.... still ok.
bio... stuck at chapter 2.
chemistry... ok.
physics... idkidkidkidk.
and i don't know why, add maths is easily forgotten. if i don't do add maths exercise one day, the next day i forget everything and need to start again. (sigh...)
anyway. i will try my best to do what i can. i hope by doing more exercises, it does help.
it looks like i am the only one who is still blur blur in my class.
add maths is driving me crazy, starting from the stupid composite functions and blah blah blah...
maths... my maths is always slow.
bm... never listen in class.
bc and bi.... still ok.
bio... stuck at chapter 2.
chemistry... ok.
physics... idkidkidkidk.
and i don't know why, add maths is easily forgotten. if i don't do add maths exercise one day, the next day i forget everything and need to start again. (sigh...)
anyway. i will try my best to do what i can. i hope by doing more exercises, it does help.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
is totally in new year mood. although it is still 2 weeks more.
these days i am getting really lazy. i don't finish my homework, don't pass up my homework in time, sleep the whole afternoon, watching drama and playing the piano the whole night. plus going to tuitions. dang. a day gone. i don't know why, but i am really... feels like i need to take a rest on my own. too many things happened this few weeks, and all that drove me crazy and made me feeling so tired and exhausted. things go wrong but i still want to continue to believe in God.
tmr is sunday. a whole new busy week starts all over again. fighting:::
these days i am getting really lazy. i don't finish my homework, don't pass up my homework in time, sleep the whole afternoon, watching drama and playing the piano the whole night. plus going to tuitions. dang. a day gone. i don't know why, but i am really... feels like i need to take a rest on my own. too many things happened this few weeks, and all that drove me crazy and made me feeling so tired and exhausted. things go wrong but i still want to continue to believe in God.
tmr is sunday. a whole new busy week starts all over again. fighting:::
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
torturing
this weather makes me sick. sore throat running nose headache all come in once.
and i just absent for 1 day, but the homework are hilly high. which is, yeah... superb.
i can't believe that my tuesday night that is supposed to be relax (because no ttn!) can turned into such miserable. i spent whole night finishing my school homeworks. i don't understand why we need to copy essays from essay book. i hate copying, this work is lousy and never help much in writing essay (my opinion). and what makes it worse is that those sample essays are all very long winded... this is not the problem. the main problem is that if the essay is long, we need to copy more.
now is already 12:23am, which i am pretty sure my so called 'beautiful tuesday' is officially ended.
but it is ok, as long as thursday is a holiday for students.
thats all for today. ;;
and i just absent for 1 day, but the homework are hilly high. which is, yeah... superb.
i can't believe that my tuesday night that is supposed to be relax (because no ttn!) can turned into such miserable. i spent whole night finishing my school homeworks. i don't understand why we need to copy essays from essay book. i hate copying, this work is lousy and never help much in writing essay (my opinion). and what makes it worse is that those sample essays are all very long winded... this is not the problem. the main problem is that if the essay is long, we need to copy more.
now is already 12:23am, which i am pretty sure my so called 'beautiful tuesday' is officially ended.
but it is ok, as long as thursday is a holiday for students.
thats all for today. ;;
Saturday, January 19, 2013
crisis
"an interesting event organised by my school".___.
english essay topic given by ah sir. and he emphasized on the 'interesting' word, so i made sure i really wrote something considered 'interesting'. and.... it messed up. -_-
form 4 life. hectic.
19/1 : happy birthday to my sis lydia. ;3
Friday, January 18, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The road not taken
其实孩子气，也没什么不好。人总有一天会长大，何必成熟太早，失去太早。--- weibo.com
I have to carry on. No matter what. No matter how///
I have to carry on. No matter what. No matter how///
Friday, January 11, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
sixteen.
9th of jan was my birthday.
what i want to say is that I really thanks God for leading me in this 15 years and, although there was lots of difficult times in the past (and in the future as well), i hope i can trust in God more and never give up.
&i feel grateful that my family is healthy, my friends are all fine.
so... some photos here :
(photos taken by phone.)
i'm turning 16. i want to be a better person::
what i want to say is that I really thanks God for leading me in this 15 years and, although there was lots of difficult times in the past (and in the future as well), i hope i can trust in God more and never give up.
&i feel grateful that my family is healthy, my friends are all fine.
so... some photos here :
(photos taken by phone.)
 |
| This cake is from pastor!:) |
 | |||
| rain drops on the car windows. slightly edited with blue colour effects... |
i'm turning 16. i want to be a better person::
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
...
i know something is changing. i can feel it. i just don't tell. thats useless to say anything in this moment. sigh...
Looking in the mirror, what do I see ?
I see me, for me, and not what I used to be. - written by Han_Man
Looking in the mirror, what do I see ?
I see me, for me, and not what I used to be. - written by Han_Man
Sunday, January 6, 2013
···
我觉得，在他们面前考虑这种事情的我很愚蠢也很无聊。
逐渐地，我失去了自己：：
很多事我的确决定不了，很多人我亦无法改变，曾经想要做水，可以适合任何容器，我努力了，然而，有一种固执与生俱来，有一种坚持不可泯灭，我有我的形状，我有我的棱角，我无法融化自己，去适应任何人，所以，不再勉强。
逐渐地，我失去了自己：：
很多事我的确决定不了，很多人我亦无法改变，曾经想要做水，可以适合任何容器，我努力了，然而，有一种固执与生俱来，有一种坚持不可泯灭，我有我的形状，我有我的棱角，我无法融化自己，去适应任何人，所以，不再勉强。
Saturday, January 5, 2013
.saturday.
went for three tuitions in one day. and if you ask me what is the feeling, actually it is pretty exhausting.
but finally. thanks to my tuition teachers, i can more or less know what f4 Chemistry, physics and sejarah are talking about.
am elated. my bro and sis are coming back! homecoming*
and, for 6 weeks! which means more than 1 month i can have them with me!
i miss them so much ;_; and finally.
what makes me happier is that they are able to celebrate my birthday together and my sis's birthday.
thats all for today. bye now!
went for three tuitions in one day. and if you ask me what is the feeling, actually it is pretty exhausting.
but finally. thanks to my tuition teachers, i can more or less know what f4 Chemistry, physics and sejarah are talking about.
am elated. my bro and sis are coming back! homecoming*
and, for 6 weeks! which means more than 1 month i can have them with me!
i miss them so much ;_; and finally.
what makes me happier is that they are able to celebrate my birthday together and my sis's birthday.
thats all for today. bye now!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
not that if you treat people nicely, people will treat you nice back. not really. i hate lies.
ok. third day of school. it is sorta like stepping into a brand new 'world'. everything is different, for sure. and science subject separated become 3 respective subject.
actually the really busy life haven't started yet. and loll i am still in holiday mood sighs. nah, i don't wanna make everything so complicated. my dad always tell me to take things lightly and simple. when i was young i was not sure what he is trying to express. but now... i think i can slightly understand it.
ok. third day of school. it is sorta like stepping into a brand new 'world'. everything is different, for sure. and science subject separated become 3 respective subject.
actually the really busy life haven't started yet. and loll i am still in holiday mood sighs. nah, i don't wanna make everything so complicated. my dad always tell me to take things lightly and simple. when i was young i was not sure what he is trying to express. but now... i think i can slightly understand it.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
new year
kl:::
KL trip was pretty fun, even though the whole trip was tiring.
oh come on. i hate my guts.
KL trip was pretty fun, even though the whole trip was tiring.
(not HD because these photos were not taken by camera)
OK i know i am late.
today is the second day of 2013, and i am just about to start writing about things that happened in 2012.
however, today is my first day of school, and i thanks God as the teachers are quite ok, and i really hope that i can get used to the so called busy form 4 life as soon as possible.. :::
oh come on. i hate my guts.
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